How do you slay the green eyed beast?

Okay, I know it happens to the best of us. At least, I'm 99.9% it does.

I'm talking Jealousy. Yeah, with a capital J. I don't know if it's because it's the first of the year or if it's because there's just a lot of cool stuff floating around out there or what but lately, the green eyed beast has been getting the best of me. I've been seeing books that I've REALLY BEEN WANTING to read lately and it seems like people are getting their hands on them in every IMM/STS post I read. So then I'm all...


At first I thought it was just me, but after talking with  my pal Carrie and seeing this post by Molli at Once Upon a Prologue, I realized that no - it's NOT just me. Phew.

Anyway, I need it to stop! So maybe the way to get that going is to confess and make a public plan for accountability? Let's give it a whirl.

Hi, my name is Lisa and I'm crazy jealous of the ARCs that other bloggers get. Sometimes, that jealousy makes me crabby and unpleasant. I don't like that. Here's how I plan to remedy the situation.

Remind myself that I'm not in the ARC game. I made this decision because it was too stressful to try and keep up with all of the things. Sure, I still do Amazon Vine but it's not nearly as big of a commitment. I thought it wasn't fair for me to accept ARCs and then not read them for months (or...ahem...YEARS) so I stopped requesting. I need to remind myself that part of this is MY CHOICE. Not that I ever got crazy amounts of books, but enough that I was overwhelmed and there are books from 2011 that have yet to be read so YES. This was a good decision and I need to remember it.

Be thankful for my blogger friends. HONESTLY I am so thankful for all of the lovelies that share their ARCs and finished copies with me. It helps me to read books a bit ahead of the game and get some publicity out for the book if I get it early enough, or if not it allows me to read it and pass the ARC along to my local HS library which wants all of the books I can offer them.

Review my blogging policy. I blog for fun. If I get too wrapped up with ARC envy, it becomes not fun. The only person who can change that is me.

Stop making comparisons. Is this a girl thing or WHAT? I can proudly say that I am not bitter that someone else has a book I want, I'm only jealous it's not me. I'm not all "What a snatch I can't believe she has Harry Potter #8 and I have to wait 9 years" but am instead like "Well farts. I WANT THAT BOOK and I can't have it so wahhh." I feel I need to make that distinction. I'm not a hater. I'm jealous.

When all else fails, avoid the temptation. This past week I definitely did not read one single IMM/STS post. Not a one. And that's not because I'm not sincerely happy and excited for bloggers and their ability to get ARCs and share that bookish love with the community - as well as get some buzz for the author - but I'm having such a tough time right now with jealousy that I have to step back. I can't feed the beast.

So, my friends, what do you do when the green eyed beast gets her nasty claws in you? Any advice you can offer? Do share! We're in this together and I know I'm not alone here!



Lisa is a gamer, crafter, fangirl, mother, wife and unabashed nerd who is pretty ridiculous and it's best you know that up front. When she's not binge watching Netflix or crafting into the wee hours of the night, you can find her spending a lot of her time on Pinterest and Twitter.

23 comments:

  1. calling people snatches in a blog post ranks highly - like calling people snitches.

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    1. Andrew thinks I went too far. Surely snatch isn't that bad, right?

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  2. I hear you! It can be really hard. And then I look at my TBR pile and think WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?!? It's not like I don't have a million things to read. :)

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  3. Word. I'm avoiding all twitpics, instagram photos and IMM posts. I have to for my own piece of mind. I don't like how jealousy looks on me so I must separate myself from the temptation.

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    1. That's proven the most helpful thus far! That and talking about it, of course. :)

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  4. I really don't pay attention to the IMM posts... I mean, I do comment on some bloggers because I'm genuinely interested, but for the most part I steer clear. Not because I'm jealous, but because I feel "hooray for them? they got a book in the mail?" I think sometimes I get caught up with the ARCs I get and then feel like I miss out on books I WANT to read... definitely have to put everything in perspective! Like you said, when you get all jealous, it makes it not so fun. So here's to curbing our jealousy! :)

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    1. See that's the thing - I am sincerely interested because that's mainly how I find out about new books (I RARELY read Waiting on Wednesday).

      A little perspective is def what I need.

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  5. Thanks so much for writing this post, Lisa. I have to constantly remind myself that blogging is not a contest, and I do it for myself. I don't want to forget that I read because I love it. I also want to be thankful for the things that I do have, like a fantastic library network where I can get most of the books I want to read for free.

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    1. Yes! It is NOT a contest. And libraries are the bomb!

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  6. Love this Lisa! I really do feel like its something we all have struggled with! I feel the same way a lot of the time! Like why do I care that much? I will be able to read it when it comes out! I can't get quite why this creeps up on me sometimes! I love your ways of combating it and I do the same things! Being thankful for what I do get and my friends who share and what I love most in all of this -- you guys!!!

    Love youuu!

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  7. I totally understand this feeling. It's hard to not get pulled into the ARC jealousy. I usually step away from my computer and walk over to my shelves and look at all the shiny books I bought that I haven't read yet, and feel better.

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  8. Yep! This is part of the reason I've gone to doing a monthly book haul post and no longer participate in any of the weekly memes surrounding book acquisition. Was I jealous seeing everyone get an ARC of Dark Triumph? Hells yeah. Is it really THAT big of a deal that I'm just going to read it when it comes out since I probably wouldn't have time to read it much more before then if I had the ARC anyway? Nope!

    I think you've made the best policies for yourself that you possibly can, Lisa! I personally think it's more fun NOT to play the ARC game, and having wonderful blogger friends certainly helps!

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  9. Love this post. I think it's great to see so many of us in the blogging community battling to get rid of the green eyed monster. I started doing STS only once a month, and while I can admit, part of me loves showing what I've received, I also use those posts to find book recs I may have missed otherwise - and since I'm now getting some unsolicited galleys of books - I - may have missed out on, that's part of my motivation, as well. For awhile I was doing STS every week, and stopped because I could see myself reaching that "must compete" phase. Nope. NOT going there. That is totally unhealthy AND it isn't what blogging is about.

    So, YES to this post. I am not signing up for any blog tours this year unless a) it's from a publisher or fellow blogger direct invite, or b) it's that one special book I HAVE to have, like a debut I might not get to read any other way. My stats aren't enough to get me "in" with all publishers, which is a shame, because the level of geekery I take it to when I love a book has nothing to do with my page views. *sulk face*

    Anyway, yeah, GO YOU. I love all your reasons and ways of keeping jealousy out of your life. *fist bump*

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  10. Way to go girl!!! I definitely can get a bit jealous of ARC's I see other people getting. Then I remind myself that 1. If I want something I should request it myself and 2. I hardly have time to read the books I'm already getting. It's always tough seeing other people get things we want, but there's more to life then waiting a few months longer for a book am I right? :)

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  11. Oh yeah, I totally get jealous if another blogger has a book I want to read so badly! But I just remind myself that I have a ridiculously long TBR list, and there are tons of awesome books just waiting for me to read. Of course, it isn't always that easy to convince myself of that.

    Also, I'm not a hater either. Just jealous.

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  12. I feel you. I see all the books that other people are getting and I am all like HOW do they do that. I just don't read the pots that have them then I feel better about what I do have. Plus i have an awesome local library so I can always get it from there.

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  13. This is so fantastic. I love what you say here. I feel the same way sometimes and have to check myself. I get a few arcs, not many. The thing that gets me the most and makes me feel green are all of the pictures on twitter, when people take the pictures of the packages. I don't understand that very much because so many people on twitter don't have access to those books and I just have certain feelings on the inside about that act - NOT saying that everyone that throws up pictures of their packages or stacks is doing it to be snobby, but it is HARD to see them sometimes. And I saw a tweet the other day that said something like Gosh I wish the package I got today would've been ______ instead of _______! and I just thought WHAT??? What a privilege and an opportunity. I had to calm my small, inner hulk, and close out twitter.

    ALSO, for me, I had to stop doing the IMM posts even before people started doing the thing where they combined it with Stacking the Shelves. Sometimes I'll look at other people's posts - one or two - just to see what's coming up and what to add to my TBR, but I don't do them anymore because FOR ME - FOR MYSELF - I felt like I was gloating, even if I only got two or three things over a month. So many people on my blog are readers that do not blog, and that is awesome, but I am not in the business of making anyone feel anything other than wanting to discuss books or making decisions on what they want to read. So for my own personal reasons, I decided to stop doing the IMM's myself, even though that meant that form of publicity for the publishers was shut down.

    I think that green beast is a thing we all have to squash every now and then but ultimately, my blog is fun for me and if it ever gets close to turning into something other than that, I don't want it anymore! FANTASTIC thoughts, Lisa. xoxoxo

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    1. I too wonder if I will shy away from the IMM in the future. I feel like if something comes from the publisher though, I do want to acknowledge that...which makes things tricky.

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  14. I will admit, a lot of books come my way. But you know that saying - the grass is always greener? I think it's true, because I get jealous of people who don't get a ton because to me it's like they can read whatever they want, whenever they want. Which is weird because so can I, but I still pressure myself to read everything I get.

    Anyways, a lot of the time it's totally not worth it to be jealous. ALSO I think your way of defeating the beast is right on.

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    1. I appreciate your perspective, April! That's precisely why I got out of the ARC game and what I need to remind myself of.

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  15. I think your point about the distinction between being jealous and being a hater is very important. I, too, get jealous sometimes when I see other people receiving books that I want YESTERDAY. But that doesn't mean I don't want other people to receive them, or that I act like a total beotch to them because OH MY GOD THEY GOT THAT BOOK AND I DIDN'T UGH. I actually like IMM posts, btw, since I love looking at pretty books haha. But yeah, I get jealous.

    I also think it's important to remind yourself that this is NOT a contest. (I have to do that all the time, actually.) To me, this isn't just about the ARCs people receive, but also the posts they write and the graphics they make. Yes, I get freaking jealous sometimes. I want to do that too! I want to get 1,000 followers and 1,000 comments as much as the next person, but HEY. Stop that! This is NOT a contest. Blogging is my hobby and I'm doing this for fun. And yes, I sometimes forget about that.

    I really, really appreciate your honesty, and this is a great post, Lisa :)

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